‘Nightcaps’ is a daily column that catches you up on the biggest sports, news and culture stories you may have missed while pretending to do work at your desk. It runs Monday-Friday on OutKick.com.
Over the hump and, somehow, safely onto the other side of the week.
Whew. We made it. Barely. The stocks are rocky. The temperature in this country has been cranked WAY up. We’re all just treading water right now.
But hey, we’re doing it together. We’re in this for the long haul, folks. Stay the course. We’ve got Thursday Night Football tonight, and then we’ll be off to the races. Big weekend of college football on tap. Big weekend of NFL. Thanksgiving, believe it or not, is three weeks from today.
Right now.
Right this second.
Strap in. Hold on tight. Let’s ride.
Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps — the one where Sophie Cunningham asks her WNBA peers the same question we’ve asked all season long …
Why can’t y’all make a layup? Sophie’s words, not mine!
What else? I’ve got Curt Cignetti back on the campaign trail even though the election is over, Luka Doncic berating a fan for a perfectly executed chest pass, and if you’re looking to make some quick holiday money, there’s a job opening for a high school football coach in Alabama that you might wanna take a look at.
Lordy. It just means more, baby!
OK, grab you a donut for National Donut Day, and settle in for a Thursday ‘Cap!
I’ve got no real hot take on donuts. Who doesn’t like a donut? Boston cream is obviously the GOAT, followed by blueberry and then just a simple glazed.
Short, simple and easy. When it comes to donuts, I think you have to go simple. We go on vacation every year to a spot down here in Florida that I won’t name because it’s already too crowded as it is, and they have one of those fancy donut shops by the beach.
They have every topping known to man at their disposal, and folks go NUTS with their custom creations.
Fruity Pebbles on top. Reese’s Pieces. Key lime pie frosting. Sriracha!
Hogwash. Give me a simple donut done correctly, and it’ll beat anything Gen-Z decides to create. I promise.
And that concludes the culinary portion of today’s class. You’re welcome!
Now, let’s get this show on the road with Sophie Cunningham wondering why nobody in the WNBA can make a layup.
Frankly, it’s a fair question.
“Why do we miss so many wide open layups? It’s a joke. What the f–k is that?”
She’s right, by the way. I’m just glad someone finally asked. Obviously, I never watched a single WNBA game until Caitlin Clark came into the league. Nobody did.
But, I’ve had to dabble in the league for content purposes over the past few years, and I’ve gotta tell you … I was STUNNED when I watched my first WNBA game. Stunned.
ANGEL REESE SETS TWO WNBA RECORDS WITH HISTORIC REBOUNDING PERFORMANCE
The amount of missed shots around the basket is jarring. Angel Reese does this all the time. In fact, she does it so much, society made up the term “mebound” for her because she pads her stats by grabbing so many of her missed shots.
I also like how Sophie immediately pushes back on her partner’s long line of excuses (athleticism, strength, height, etc …):
“Dude these are, like, wide open layups.”
Amazing. She’s the best.
OK, let’s keep this class moving and check in on Curt Cignetti in the wake of Tuesday’s first batch of College Football Playoff rankings.
He seems pleased!
“SEC gets a lot of love from ESPN, you know, and all their writers that they don’t technically pay, but march to their drum. So, and that’s why you see all these SEC teams up there, you know, and some good two-loss teams from the Big Ten, not quite as high. But like I said, it’s all going to be it’s all going to be played out on the field.”
Whoaaaaaaaaaa Nellie! Tell us how you really feel, Curt!
Who, exactly, are the good two-loss teams from the Big Ten? I’m genuinely curious, because this is a down year for the Big Ten. A DOWN year.
Michigan stinks. Penn State stinks. Oregon has no QB, and stinks. USC looks better because they just beat Ohio State, but let’s be real about that one for a second. The Trojans lose that game by two touchdowns if Ohio State has a competent person throwing the ball.
So who is it? Iowa? Come on. Maybe Northwestern. I can make a case for Northwestern because that program has been solid, even though they lost a game they should’ve won last week against Oregon.
But other than that? I’m just not seeing it.
The committee may very well have an SEC bias — I don’t think Alabama deserves to be No. 5, and I wrote that yesterday — but using two-loss Big Ten schools as the argument ain’t it.
Not this year, at least.
OK, let’s rapid-fire this Thursday class into a big Thursday night. First up? Speaking of Alabama, let’s check in on the local high school football scene as the postseason gets underway:
That’s real, by the way. This is from the school’s official Facebook post:
Dothan City Schools is seeking a Head Football Coach to lead the Dothan High School Wolves football program!
Annual Salary: $150,000–$180,000
The ideal candidate will:
• Build a championship-caliber program with a vision for sustained success and state title contention.
• Lead and develop a high-performing coaching staff committed to excellence and accountability.
• Demonstrate a proven record of success in varsity competition, playoff appearances, and championship-level performance.
• Prioritize student-athlete growth through academic achievement, character, discipline, and well-being.
• Establish a year-round culture of excellence through strategic preparation, teamwork, and community engagement.
Any takers? Think you got what it takes to lead the Dothan Wolves to a championship? Let’s see it! Hell, I’ll throw my hat in the ring for $180,000.
The cost of living in Dothan, for those wondering, is about 15% lower than the US average, according to Payscale.com. The medium home listing sits around $316,000.
And hey! Look at this bad boy that’s been on the market for 48 days now:
And it’s only a 20-minute drive to Dothan High! You’re just not getting a better deal than that right now in America.
Go get ’em, folks. You’re welcome.
THE CRAIG CARTON SHOW–UNFILTERED, UNAPOLOGETIC AND UNMISSABLE. DOWNLOAD HIS DAILY PODCAST NOW!
OK, that’s it for today. Good Thursday, everyone.
On the way out, here’s Lakers star Luka Doncic berating a fan — and eventually getting him ejected — because he deemed this toss to the ref a little too aggressive.
Looks like a textbook pass to me.
Soft!
See you tomorrow.