The new movie “Madden” is about to take the world by storm — it remains to be seen if that’s because it’s good or because … well, that it’s not — and so the cast of it has been hit with the biggest John Madden-related question there is.
Have you ever had a turducken?
If you’re unaware of what a turducken is (where the hell have you been), it’s the unholy Thanksgiving sin against nature that is a chicken stuffed inside a duck, which is, in turn, crammed inside of a turkey that Madden made popular.
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I’ve never had one myself. Not because I’m against it — I’m staunchly pro-turducken — but I’ve simply never been given he chance to score a poultry hat trick.
Maybe that’s because I never got to be in a movie about John Madden, patron saint of turducken, as these folks have.
First we’ve got Christian Bale, who plays Al Davis in the movie. When he’s not berating people on set, he’s preaching the finer points of food safety. Probably smart to dive into the world of turducken with a movie prop that has been sitting out for more than half the day.
Next was Nicolas Cage, who plays John Madden himself (no, seriously). He didn’t answer the question, but said he did get a lot of turducken on his hand chopping one up the way Madden used to. I’m sure he has eaten weirder foods crammed inside of each other before, so a turducken is probably not a big deal to him.
I also wouldn’t be shocked if, to get into character, he ate nothing but turducken for several weeks.
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Super Bowl champion Julian Edelman was at the film’s premiere and said that he has never had it, but always wanted one of the ones Madden mangled with his bare hands every Thanksgiving.
Can’t blame him. That’s like the wagyu beef of turducken.
And, finally, we have the lovely Sienna Miller, who plays Carol Sagal Davis, and finally we have a cast member who has actually eaten turducken. She said that she and co-star Kathryn Hahn (who plays Virginia Madden) helped themselves to some backup turducken.
I’m going to lie, this has got me wanting to Frankenstein myself a sick-legged Thanksgiving freak of nature this year, just to give it a shot.