Happy Friday — have we all cleansed ourselves of that Thursday Night Football game last night?
Goodness gracious. I thought I was immune to bad quarterback play given I’ve been a Dolphins fan for 25 years, but even I was disgusted by what I saw.
Sure, l may be a little biased because I had RJ Harvey at OVER 3.5 receptions and Bo Nix couldn’t get him the ball in the second half if his life depended on it, but still …
It was bad. It was gross. Wait till you see what Ryan Fitzpatrick had to say about it. Lordy.
Before that, though … welcome to a Friday Nightcaps — the one where Brittany Mahomes hits the gym and shows America she still very much has the fastball.
What else? I’ve got college football continuing down its dangerous path with a 24-team playoff, the aforementioned Fitzpatrick takedown, and I don’t do much soccer, but you HAVE to see this penalty kick from earlier in the week.
I have no idea who this cat is, where this game was played, or who these teams are … but I’m all in. I can’t stop watching. It’s mesmerizing.
You’ll see.
OK, grab you a Sears Christmas catalog and start circling things to celebrate National Department Store Day, and settle in for a Friday ‘Cap!
Man, do I miss department stores. They were the best. Sure, some still kinda-sorta exist — I still have a Dillard’s in my town, somehow — but it’s not the same.
And today’s youth will never, ever know the feeling. What a pleasure.
Sears, Macy’s, JCPenney, Dillard’s — all absolute staples in a shopping mall back in the ’80s and ’90s. They’d be in the four separate corners of the mall, and it was just a choose-your-own-adventure book every time you pulled into the parking lot.
Which entrance do we wanna choose? Do we feel like going through the Macy’s perfume section to get to the Auntie Anne’s in the food court because it’s a quicker route? Is it gonna be weird when we have to walk by the Victoria’s Secret with our parents? What are the chances we can convince them to give us some quarters for the arcade?
Wait, are those teriyaki chicken bites on a toothpick in the food court free?!
Man, we had it all. It was perfect. And for those who want just a little taste, here’s a throwback to what I still consider the greatest commercial of all time, even all these years later:
Core memory unlocked. Chills, every time. That thing used to play 27 times an hour back in the day. It didn’t matter the channel, you knew you were getting the Sears AC commercial at some point during Gilligan’s Island.
What a time to be alive. What a country.
OK, let’s jump back to 2026 (sadly) and get this class started with Brittany Mahomes hitting the gym and reminding America she’s still very much in her prime:
“Archives never expire,” Mahomes captioned the above post. No idea what that means, but who am I to question it? I haven’t been to a gym in a decade.
Welcome back to class, Brittany! Been a while. Some folks tend to forget about Brittany Mahomes in Kansas City with Taylor Swift now a permanent resident, but I’d tread lightly with that one.
She’s still very much the First Lady of Arrowhead. Don’t get it twisted. The Chiefs still haven’t lost a game this season, and I don’t expect that to change this weekend against the Chargers.
Patrick’s locked in, and so is Brittany Mahomes. Good luck, NFL.
Now, speaking of the AFC West …
Let’s go ahead and check in with Ryan Fitzpatrick after Denver’s huge OT win last night. Surely morale is HIGH right now …
Right?
“Bo Nix is not playing competitively. It’s almost disrespectful to the quarterback position how he’s playing football right now.”
My goodness. What an absolute butt-chewing from Ryan Fitzpatrick here. I’ve never seen an analyst just obliterate a player like that … after a win!
Some folks are jumping all over Fitzy today, by the way. I think that’s ridiculous. He’s 100000% right in everything he said. Everything.
Bo Nix was atrocious last night. Denver was beyond anemic on offense. Nix finished with 107 yards on 17 completions, and barely — and I mean barely — threw the ball beyond the line of scrimmage.
In fact, according to CBS researcher Doug Clawson, he currently ranks 701st out of 701 qualified quarterbacks over the last two decades (!!!) in average pass length (4.9 air yards per attempt).
That’s indescribably bad. It’s unfathomable. I watched Tua Tagovailoa dink and dunk for years in Miami. Bo Nix last night made Tua look like Dan Marino!
And everyone’s jumping on Fitzpatrick for … being mean? Give me a break.
Grow up.
OK, let’s rapid-fire this Friday class into a big weekend of FOOTBALL! First up? For those who missed it, college football is closing in on a 24-team playoff starting next season.
Twenty-four.
I don’t know about you, but it makes me sad:
So, we’re going to lose conference championship games, which is a huge bummer. They obviously still don’t mean quite as much as they used to, but that first Saturday in December is always one of the best Saturdays of the year. It’s gone now.
That’s obviously a con.
As for the a pro? Well, we do get a ton of actual playoff games on campuses. That’s a no-brainer. My biggest issue with the current format is the lack of on-campus games. It’s silly. Most of these games should be on campus. It’s what makes college football so great.
Do I think this will kill college football like a lot of folks are forecasting today? No. Do I think “November games are going to be totally useless” like a lot of folks are forecasting today? No. There will still be important games in November.
But …
The regular season as a whole will absolutely lose some juice. Can’t really argue that. The college football regular season used to be the best regular season in all of sports because the margin for error was so thin. It’s why Tim Tebow famously cried after losing to Ole Miss back in 2008.
That’s gone now. Losing 2, 3, or even 4 games in some cases won’t kill you anymore. That’s a bummer. A big one.
I’m quite sure you all have opinions on this. Believe me, I see the OutKick newsletter email account. It’s loaded today.
So … let me know what you think! Zach.Dean@OutKick.com. (Gulp).
OK, that’s it for today — and this week! Good work, everyone. On the way out, let’s go from football to futbol and end our week with the greatest penalty kick you’ve ever seen.
Have a big October weekend, everyone.