You’d think that a player’s NBA Championship hat would be one of their prized possessions, but when it’s carrying the potential funk factor that New York Knicks star Jalen Brunson’s might be, perhaps not so much.
The Knicks locked up their first NBA title in decades back in June, and after all of the festivities, Brunson revealed that his championship lid is still packed away in a bag.
And the potential horrors within are keeping him from opening it.
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“Mine is still not washed; it’s in the bag, and I’m afraid to open it,” Brunson said on a recent episode of his podcast “Roommates Show” with teammate Josh Hart. “It smells terrible: Champagne, sweat, cigars, food, beer, tequila.”
That sounds like the notes of the worst cologne of all time.
That’s a recipe for some serious stink, and that’s why on the off chance you ever win a championship (hey, it could happen; your church league softball team could be a wagon next season) you’ve got to suck it up, let it air out and wash it.
What you don’t want to do is leave it in a sealed bag like Brunson has done. Now he’s got a science fair project on his hands.
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Not only will that thing smell so bad it’ll make your hair fall out, at this point it could have a small civilization growing on it, or it could’ve sprouted a set of eyes.
Three of them.
I know someone — it was not me, I swear — who left a sweaty hat in a bag for quite some time, and then, after a bit, put it in their closet.
However, this closet was accessed through the bathroom; therefore, it maintained the right level of humidity for some kind of mold or fungus or alien entity to start growing from this hat.
It was a horror show, and unfortunately, that may be the fate of Jalen Brunson’s NBA Championship hat.
I hope I’m wrong, but if there’s one thing I know, it’s the do’s and do-not-do’s of hat funk.